4 mistakes mothers make that harm their teen daughters


Like mother, like daughter right? 
Well...sometimes yes, sometimes no.

Why? I've seen virtuous and godly women who nurtured their girls up to teen age, only to watch them slip off their fingers like sand. What could our mamas be doing  wrong?



1. Allowing their daughters to read anything they like.

In my days of addiction to dirty reading, i would watch in despair as mothers(mostly rich) came into the bookstore with their girls. The girl would select & select up to 50 erotic novels, and the mother would gladly pay for all, without even looking at the book cover, then sigh in relief, having satisfied her daughter.

Mothers please, if you have a book maniac like me for a daughter, who breathes & eats books, you should at least choose the books with her. Check out the cover and the back, before you approve it, be firm with her and reject unwholesome ones. You might say you're too busy for all that stress, but don't be surprised when your sweet innocent daughter starts flirting around men. Because her lifestyle can't be far from what she feeds her mind on, for all our actions are the end product of our thoughts. 

2.
Making her think she's the center of the universe

Sounds a bit extreme, huh? But from what I've seen, some mothers resort to flattery, trying to please their girls. It's okay to appreciate and compliment her, but too much of it does more harm than good. Focusing on your girl's  physical endowment will give her the wrong notion of thinking that having a pretty face and a nice body is all that matters. No wonder we have many empty heads, because our girls are seriously pursuing fake beauty and fading fashion, so they can draw attention and flattering, neglecting their inner self.

Dear Mother, your girl needs to know that in life, we don't always get what we want. If she asks for something, make sure she really needs it, and not just a mere want, before granting her request. Let her learn to make due with what she has, in future, she appreciate you for that training.


3. Allowing boys to visit her (often) 
I know that this may not go down well with some mothers in diaspora or some high class moms due to the heavy influence of Western civilization on our society. But right will always be right and wrong will always be wrong, inspite of circumstances.

Ok, let's say a girl of about 17, we'll call her Grace, well mannered and smart,  comes back from school escorted by 2 boys. Mom's at home, they all greet her and she leaves. They  go outside and chat for like 20 minutes. Later after seeing them off, Grace comes back in, and mom doesn't say a word.

Next Saturday, one of the boys visit, tells  mom he came to collect a 'textbook' from Grace. He comes into the sitting room, where he and Grace spend time talking about 'things'. Then he leaves.

What signals are these teenagers receiving? Mom doesn't mind, she's okay with everything.

Soon they'll start coming when mom is not around.

What am I saying? Don't allow boys to visit your girl at home, except on very rare occasions, and she shouldn't be home alone.

OK, maybe I'm being too negative, maybe the teenagers don't have any bad thing in mind, but what about the people around? what do they see? A young girl always visited by boys...hmmm
The neighbours will conclude that she's wayward and spoilt. Sometimes we should consider public opinion. I used to allow my former male classmates to visit me often, but when I gained understanding, I cut them off.

 4. Shielding her from hardwork 

It's no surprise that many prominent people all over the world were born without silver spoons in their mouths. How did they make it in life?  From a young age  they learned that life isn't bread and butter, so they conditioned their minds to fight for survival.  They become accustomed to pain before gain.  They learned contentment, I entered my teen years on give away clothes from aunties and neighbours. At that time, I couldn't get new clothes, but I wore my over sized or ill fitting clothes with pride.

Some priviledged girls don't have the word 'sweat' in their dictionary.  I'm not a supporter of poverty, neither am I saying that anyone should allow a child to suffer lack. All I'm saying is this, even though there's excess wealth for luxurious living, try and make her know that NO PAIN, NO GAIN! NO WORK, NO FOOD! 

Shalom!


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Why Did I Follow The Crowd?

Do you really know your Bible